I imagine my tears dripping from a broken faucet behind my eye sockets. At some point it’s inevitable and even necessary for my lids to allow the waterworks. I try to think of something sad, but it feels wrong to force an act that others, along with myself, have done in regards to matters bigger than oneself.
So where are these lurking feelings of sadness coming from? Why does my heart ache? Lady red came to visit a couple days ago, yet I hate to blame this strong emotion on hormones. My initial, even selfish, motive is to shake the feeling; however, perhaps sadness in this instance isn’t to be looked upon as a flaw, but rather something to be welcomed. Sadness evokes compassion, and in compassion change can occur whether a personal transformation or beyond. Strength arises.
Without dissecting such a complex emotion, I choose to let the sadness be. Being cautious not to bathe in self-pit, but rather hone in on others feeling the same. Grouping together (we are stronger in numbers), and show someone(s) some love. Our hearts hurt sometimes to allow our eyes to open. Tears have a way of dissolving the film built up from greed, jealousy, and any other toxic self-consuming emotions; they give us the ability to see a fellow human in need, and perhaps even the gumption to fill it. At twenty-six years of age, I am only now beginning to understand what it means to be human. To continue to throw myself out in a world where my heart endures rips, tears, and punches; but it is in being vulnerable I’m allowing the mending, growth and true joy to spring forth.
When you’re feeling sad, an unexplainable dark cloud hovering above, don’t be afraid of it, don’t dismiss it, but rather say hello. Let’s carry the load of each other’s burdens from time to time. I’m one weary of making promises I can’t keep, but I’m almost certain beauty is woven in the end result.